Blitz My Balls
by Mukky
Summary: [WakkaxTidus] Tidus, unable to deny the fact he doesn't love Yuna, finds difficulties when he comes to expressing himself. Seeking guidance from a friend, the blonde blitzer doesn't realize just what he's putting in jeopardy...


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Final Fantasy characters used/seen/appearing in this fic. Anyone mistakening me as their creator shall be fed to rabid hamsters.  
  
Warning: Following this chapter, this fic will contain explicit yaoi. If material concerning male/male relationships offends you, I do not suggest you read any further. I rather not be flamed for your stupidity.  
  
Note: I -ADORE- Tidus x Yuna, honest I do. But because of my lover/wife Kirei, she demanded a Wakka x Tidus fic.. So she's getting it with the package of steaming ass-sex as well.. Joys of all joys. As well, concerning the title.. That's more of an inside joke; please do not be bothered by it.  
  
***  
  
Tidus expression, twisted with concern, masked the increasing regret. And as he gazed to the sobbing Yuna, enchanted by the ripples each tear birthed, he was aware of his guilt. From day one, he had built a lie involving the Summoner, radiating a false love that he knew would later be her supportive wing.  
  
Yet he never dreamed it would come to this; her life, it depended on him. And this love, this love he did not have for the weeping, beautiful woman before him.. If he took that away, he could kill her and the final hope for the peace and calm of Spira.  
  
But he couldn't bring himself to do it. Even as his fingertips gripped the soft cotton of her top, her eyes wide and curious, though cautious; she understood her emotions. But how could she not read his? Did it not reflect in his eyes the tortured agony he felt striking down upon him with each passing moment he spent with a girl fated for death?  
  
"Yuna.." he murmured quietly, witnessing her gaze widening. He leaned forward, intending to at least offer sanctuary of a tender kiss, but paused. Could he honestly wrench Yuna's heart from her chest; was he really so cruel? No.. He couldn't put her through more torment than she would have to face. It wasn't fair to her. It wasn't fair to himself. But most of all, it wasn't fair to 'him.'  
  
"..I'm sorry.." he whispered with a slow shake of his head. Her eyes searched his face for a hint of explanation, a clue to why he had stopped. "..I can't. I just can't." He retreated back a step from her, his hands sliding from her shoulders. She gaped, at a loss for the sudden change, her features melting from somber to pained.  
  
"..Have I done something wrong?" she asked, bringing a loosely clenched fist to rest against her bosom. Tidus gave another slow shake of his head.  
  
"No.. Yuna, you haven't done anything. It's not you, I swear," he explained feebly; the situation had indeed become very awkward. "I.. I just don't want to make you believe something that's not true..." Regarding him with suspicion but curiosity, she furrowed her brow briefly before her expression lifted.  
  
"There's someone else.." she replied quietly, blinking before she stepped forward. "Isn't there? You care about someone else, that's why..." She trailed off, aware of the answer. A weak smile graced her lips, and she chortled, her mis-colored eyes dropping to her reflection. Idly, the fist she held against her chest fell, fingertips grazing along the sparkling surface. Why had she not been aware? Had she honestly been so blinded by love, that she could not see her companion's internal struggle?  
  
"Tidus.. I understand," she murmured. "And.. I am glad that you stopped yourself when you did. It only proves to me how affectionate and sensitive you truly are." Tidus failed to make eye contact; he was afraid to see her cry again. He didn't want to witness the pain upon her face.  
  
"..I'm sorry, Yuna. I truly am," he replied and turned to the shore. Somewhere, he knew, Kimahri was watching. And he silently wondered how the over-grown feline would react if he happened to startle another one of Yuna's deeper emotions. He hardly doubted he wanted to discover the answer to this question.  
  
The water swooned behind him, drawn aside as Yuna approached, her slender arms lacing around his waist. Softly she sighed and laid her cheek against his back.  
  
"Please, don't be sorry. I'll always cherish you as my friend, Tidus. To the very end, even once we reach Zanarkand.. But you must go, make amends before our journey - my story, has ended.. I don't want to see a chapter incomplete." Tidus glanced over his shoulder, admiring the crown of chocolate tresses the rocked back and forth as she spoke. For a moment, he was speechless; Yuna was dismissing him, temporarily at least.  
  
Turning, he embraced the young woman, drawing her head against his chest, fingers lost within her hair. She cried, tears of disappointment and a broken-heart cascading across her flushed cheeks. But upon her lips she bore a smile; a smile that described and wished Tidus the best of luck for what may soon be one of the hardest things he would face. It was always hard to let someone you care about go, but even harder to give them to someone else.  
  
But if it meant Tidus being happy, Yuna was sure she could do it.  
  
Though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, Tidus' heart felt heavy as he retreated back to the camp. Yuna had declared she would feel more obliged if she remained behind, but swore she would return later.  
  
'I hope.. I haven't hurt her..' he thought, though it had been obvious to him in his leave he had. No amount of her smiling could replace the somber gaze that seemed printed into her expression.  
  
'"Go to him, Tidus.. You know you can't avoid it," she had murmured once they returned to shore. "It's not fair to him to keep these secrets."'  
  
'But sometimes secrets are meant to be kept..' With a growl, he irritably kicked at an abstract branch averting his path, aggravated that things had finally come this. Never, not even in his wildest dreams, had he thought that he would be thrown forward into this sort of situation. It almost made him long for Zanarkand's protection. Almost.. Not quite.  
  
"Tidus!" Lifting his gaze to the approaching figure, Tidus drew to an abrupt halt as Wakka came forth. Forcing a smile to replace his scowl, he lifted an idle hand in greeting, though found himself clasped powerfully upon the shoulder. Sputtering, he quickly recovered, ducking beneath his company's sweeping arm to bound him inside a head-lock.  
  
"Hey man! Did ya do it? Did ya tell Yuna how ya feel?" the red-head inquired, a broad grin emphasizing his features. The blonde distracted himself with a nearby object, following the fellow blitzballer back to where the other's resided. Though Lulu, Rikku and Auron all regarded the two with brief curiosity, none questioned Yuna's where-abouts.  
  
"Yeah.. I told Yuna how I felt," he murmured; it wasn't exactly a lie, though it certainly what Wakka had implied. Head bowed, the boy missed the temporarily flash of disappointment cross the broad man's handsome face, before he was once more slapped upon the back. Nearly collapsing to the ground, he inclined his head to an angle to meet the obliviously intelligent gaze of a man who had once hoped that Tidus was his lost brother.. But that had long-since past.  
  
"Wakka? Do you think.. You and I could talk? Alone?" the boy asked, almost sheepishly. Wakka scratched his cheek before gesturing to himself, Rikku smothering a quiet giggle from nearby.  
  
"Eh? Me?.. Ya, I guess so," he replied lightly, and threw an arm across the smaller boy's shoulders. With a sigh, Tidus reflected personal defeat toward the small collection of individuals nearby, almost begging for salvation. Rikku's gaze wandered toward the idle figures with her innocent assumptions, a grin light upon her lips. And though he opened his mouth to give some sort of explanation, Wakka lead him away by his arm, muttering about how solitude would likely be more appropriate for Tidus' sake; the carrot-top obviously thought he was torn apart.  
  
If only he knew how true that was.  
  
***  
  
The blitzball passed easily from Tidus' fingertips as he allowed his mind to become distracted with the idle toss and surrend of the ball.  
  
"And so.. what happened?" Wakka inquired, briefly allowing the ball to reside against his palms before it returned to the blonde youth. He sighed, rolling it across his fore-arms, expression somber and pained. He had hoped he wouldn't have to recall the moments back at the lake.  
  
"I told her how I felt," he replied quietly, tone sincere. Wakka hiked a brow, somewhat perplexed by his friend's strange behavior. He had known for quite sometime that Yuna had developed a liking toward the foreigner, yet it didn't explain why he seemed so sullen with the subject. He had figured Tidus would have at least revealed a little happiness.  
  
"And?" he pressed, ignoring the mildly dirty look he received. Tidus was obviously uncomfortable with the subject, but that wouldn't stop his questions. Wakka was honestly curious, more so to Tidus' current lack of expression rather than happenings with the couple.  
  
"And she said she understood. Nothing romantic happened." Things certainly weren't adding up; without a doubt, he and the rest of Yuna's guardians shared the belief that a relationship had sparked between the two young individuals. And yet in a moment of truth, there had been lack of affectionate contact?  
  
"Eh.. So, what's seems to be da problem?" Noticing the awkward expression he received, Tidus threw the ball heavily against the ground with apparent irritation. It all seemed so stupid now; maybe Yuna was wrong, what if Wakka didn't understand? Though the conversation had seemed reasonable with his conscience, verbally, it felt alien and slow. What if he had been reading the signs all wrong?  
  
Wakka caught the airborne ball, his slightly confused gaze sweeping toward the pacing figure. So maybe passing the time with their favorite interest hadn't been the brightest of ideas. He wasn't a guardian for his scheming.  
  
"I.. Just don't like her," Tidus murmured, and heaved a slow sigh. One burden had been lifted, but another quickly took it's place. Feeling fortunate to have his back toward the red-head wonder, he detected a slight noise emitted from his company. So it had been more of a surprise than he had figured. Wonderful.  
  
"I mean.. I like her and all.. And it's not fair she has to die for the sake of everyone else.. It's just.." he trailed off, considering a thought and began to regret the fact he had released the ball. "I don't know. She's not my type, I guess. I just can't see her in that way." The sound of movement caused Tidus to cast a cautious glance over his shoulder, briefly witnessing the larger male seating himself nearby. Was he boring him?  
  
"Aah.. Yuna doesn't think so." The blonde turned to face his friend, rubbing his throat with thought. His casual flirting was one of his bad habits he had inherited from his good-for-nothing father. And it had simply been that, casual flirting. Hardly any masked passions behind such actions, other than the respectful attraction he had for nearly all his companions.  
  
Except one.. One just a bit more than the others.  
  
"I know that now, don't I?" he asked bitterly, averting his cerulean gaze. He was well on his way toward a second guilt trip. "I didn't ask for her to like me, Wakka. I was just doing my job." There was a pause of silence between them as Wakka collected his thoughts, a bit hesitant about how to handle the situation. He was never one to mingle in love affairs and troubles.  
  
"Ya know.. Chappu was da one who was always fallin in love. He wasn't an idiot, but he didn't have it in his head when it came to da women. Still, he knew where to draw da line and--"  
  
"This isn't about Chappu! He can't solve this problem if he couldn't solve his own! I'm asking you, not him. If I wanted your dead brother's advice, I'd go to the farplanes!" The abrupt erution cleaned Wakka's thoughtful expression, the red-head seeming a bit hurt and taken-back. Speaking so harshly about his past was the neglect he'd only take from Lu, not some bubble-headed blonde who had it in his head he could come in and take over.  
  
With deliberate slow movement and grace, he stood, his wooden perch groaning as he removed his weight. Gaze cold as stone, he glowered darkly toward his company, no longer feeling the need to offer a shoulder to cry upon.  
  
"If you aren't gonna respect my dead family.. Then we have nothin else to discuss," he stated, unable to shake the sudden urge to simply walk away. Tidus' outburst had manage to hit home upon a potentially sore location; and especially after Wakka was sure the blonde knew of the two's resemblance.  
  
He turned, with every intention to leave, the atmosphere thick with tension. Why remain with those who felt the need to belittle others and the aspects they held important? Chappu's advice had always been a light to his older brother's darkness, and to see it disregarded in such a manner...  
  
If words could have been plucked from the air, Tidus supposed he would have removed a great number. Immensely regretting his heavy statement, he felt at a loss as Wakka began to depart. Yuna would be disappointed if he simply gave up, allowing the red-head to walk away, all the more oblivious and likely very sour toward the blonde.  
  
"Wakka! Wait!" he called, hastily stepping after him. Fortunately, the captain of the Arachs did halt, though didn't turn to offer his complete attention. "I didn't mean it, Wakka."  
  
"You're wasting my time." Tidus faltered slightly, confidence nearly drained. He wouldn't be able to continue at this rate, but he didn't want to leave on bad terms. He didn't exactly have many friends on Spira.  
  
"I.. just wanted to talk about why I couldn't share my feelings with Yuna," he murmured quietly, lifting a hand to rest on Wakka's shoulder. But it was quickly rolled aside, as if Tidus was a disgusting germ that would infect all he came in contact with.  
  
"It doesn't concern me," the angered figure replied, his tone cold and hollow. Tidus had over-stepped his boundaries; true, Wakka had been a bit more forgiving in the past, but he had been influenced by Sin's toxin, he couldn't blame the blonde's lack of memory. But there was no excuse for his rude behavior now, and to think Wakka was going to remain in his company and help him with his problems? He could keep dreaming of such.  
  
Tidus fumbled with his words, his mind a complete blank. Wakka was truly displeased; he knew what he had said would be offensive, but the youth's honesty had never been one of his better qualities. And as he watched his former friend continue his retreat, the boy realized there was simply no way around it anymore.  
  
"But it does! I care about you, Wakka! That's why I can't love Yuna!"  
  
***  
  
Hip-hip hooray for embarrassing confessions! Chapter 2 to come whenever I feel like writing it [or whenever Kirei trolls me about it. Whichever comes first] 


End file.
